My Meaning of Halloween

Halloween. Allhallows Eve. The eve of All Saints' Day.
As defined by Dictionary.com, Halloween is the observance by mostly children in costumes who solicit treats, often by threatening minor pranks. This is the modern definition of Halloween, but the history is quite different in the beginning.
Evolving from the ancient Celtic holiday of Samhain, modern Halloween has become less about literal ghosts and ghouls and more about costumes and candy. The Celts used the day to mark the end of harvest season and the beginning of winter, and also believed that this transition between the seasons was a bridge to the world of the dead. Over the millennia the holiday transitioned from a somber pagan ritual to a day of merriment, costumes, parades and sweet treats for children and adults. (www.history.com/topics/halloween)
In modern times today, Halloween is just a silly "holiday" that kids dress up as fairy princesses or cowboys and go to strangers' houses and beg for free candy. None of this is false, but everyone needs to get it around their heads that Halloween is not just another one of those holidays that you can just toss to the side like groundhog day or arbor day, just to make an example. It has meaning and it had a very important history. While the true nature of this time is lost to almost everyone, for some good and not so good reasons, it is not a "bad" holiday and, in my opinion, should not be thrown out the window - especially as just a holiday for kids or just a "silly holiday or even a holiday that no one outside the US hardly celebrates as much as (I personally) think that it should.
Now, with all of that ranting out of the way, let me get to what this should really be about. If you have read the title, you should understand by this point that this is about the meaning of Halloween - to me.
So, to be honest, I am finishing writing this way after I had originally planned to post this on Halloween of 2014. There are many reasons for that, many of them being the fact that I didn't have much time and I got lazy a lot of the time as well, but there was one thing that stood out from all of that besides the fact that I couldn't figure out a way to begin this until recently. On Halloween, I was not able to go Trick-or-Treating because I had to work. Now, this may seem childish because I am 20 and some may say that I shouldn't go out and Trick-or-Treat anymore, but despite not being able to do one of the many things that make Halloween special to me, it had me thinking a lot about the holiday in general and what I really think about it. Now, it is hard for me to remember exactly what I was thinking back then, but I know for the most part that what Halloween really means to me is as much about the things as it is personal.
Halloween, I think, has to do a lot with things like pumpkins, ghosts, and monsters - mostly for the reason of selling these things for decorations and props and such. As someone who considers herself apart of the Gothic Subculture, I take the opportunity of Halloween to get things to better suit my lifestyle. The people who market those Halloween goodies may not know that people like me wait the whole year for the things that they sell, but I know that it is a glorious time for all of us. Pumpkin spice everything is also what I look forward to the most, but that is just basically around autumn time (which works because I don't think that I could wait for just one day out of the year for that yummy goodness).
Halloween is also very personal to me in many ways. When I first got into the Gothic Subculture, my best friend at the time had me over at her house very close to Halloween. I was interested and curious about the subculture that she was in and wanted to know more about it and get into it myself. She taught me many things that I stay true to even today, but the reason that moment stood out to me the most was because it was in October and Halloween was just around the corner. Halloween was the first holiday that I experienced in my "new life" and it is the reason that it is my favorite holiday of all time to this day.
So, after all of this rambling that I hope made a little sense, I think that Halloween is not just a holiday (or maybe even a religious experience for some people.) It is the feelings and emotions that are connected to it. It is what you feel when you step outside and take a deep breath of autumn air. It is the spice of nutmeg and cinnamon that you taste in pumpkin spice everything. It's the trees changing color and the sharp cold of the newly changing seasons. Everything about autumn reminds me of Halloween and everything that Halloween is is what autumn is to me. Halloween means so much to me that I could never dream of it not existing.
That's what Halloween means to me.

My Last Pack

of cigs.
It seems like a good thing, you know. No lung cancer, no mouth cancer, no tooth decay, no bad breath. But, if you smoke a lot, you know this feeling - to a degree.
The pack, those small cigs, they feel like a part of your body. It feels nice to smoke and even your day could get better with one puff. But, it is my turn to put down the pack - like some people do at one time or another. And I am quitting. For my love and myself. Of course, I would do anything for my love, so this is no problem for me.
But, I see cigs and smoking not as an addiction, but as a sort of past time; something to do when I get bored. So, naturally, I can stop at any time. But today, I will no longer take part in this lovely activity anymore. No, today will be my final journey with a pack of flame and ashes. Now, as I let this end, so will my last pack.

Life

I hate my life.
People say that "Why do you hate your life when there are people in this world that have it worse than you?". I don't have an answer, but that doesn't change the fact that I hate my life. I'm not other people and I am who I am.
Some may think that is selfish, but... how else can I put it? We as humans are selfish beings and should-do-put ourselves before other people. That is who we are. So, I disagree with the people who think I am selfish because, in truth, they are selfish as well.
Now, it is true that I have thought of death or bringing myself death but have never and probably will never go through with it. I have too much respect for my father. But when I am faced with stress, it is just my nature to want to die. Because I hate it -- stress and life.
So, as this rant ends with nothing really solved inside, I hope to take with me when I finish my teenage years with at least one thing:  memories.

My Name


                So, you may or may not be wondering about my name: saying things like “‘Ravenson’ isn’t a real name.” or “I don't think she’s a real person because her name is weird!” Well, you’re all right about one thing: “Rosemarie Ravenson” isn’t my real name. I will not tell you my real name for my sake, but one thing that is certain is that that is not my “real” name. (Oh, but I AM a real person, by the way… Just thought I’d throw that in there…)
                Well, there IS a reason behind this besides just privacy. And that’s the fact that I think that the name suits me. Now, I know that that sounds a little vague, so… I’ll explain… >.<
                Well, before I even “decided on a name for myself”—when I had first became Goth, actually—I had roamed around YouTube for things like “The Gothic Lifestyle” and “Goth” and whatnot. I had thought that I had nothing because I thought that searching for those things would be hopeless… but I was wrong! I found the awesomest (yes, that is a word in my vocabulary) people on there that helped me in my quest for Goth and beyond (some of the people I mention are Baby Bats like me, but they are awesome anyways). >_<
If you have a YouTube account or even if you don't, please look up these people; I recommend them! SebastianTheGirl, BatcaveDilemma, vampressjarat666, AdoraBatBrat, CorvisNocturnum, LeahMouse, (LeahMouseVlog), EvieThePixie, GothicCharmSchool, GothyDani, kazlovesbats, TheBioGoth, TheGothicGrave, Voltaire (he has a couple of pages; VoltaireMusicPage, voltairenyc—I think on that last one), and probably many more that I either do not know of or do not remember—and for that I am sorry. If I have left anything out, please feel free to look on my YouTube channel; RaveRosemarie13, and under my subscriptions. And if none of these were helpful, please let me know. But be sure to tell them that I sent you! J Hahaha…! >.<
                Well, as you can see, I found a lot on YouTube! So, the first person I watched was SebastianTheGirl. She is a for-real Goth girl and an awesome person (not that I know her personally…)! When I started to watch her videos, I noted that “Sebastian” was not her real name. That threw me for a bit… until I heard the reason behind it. I understand that she doesn’t want others to know her “real” name, and I won’t be like the others who have asked her (she doesn’t like that, by the way). And that gave me the idea: what if I could do something like that?
                Now, I wasn't trying to copy in any way; I promise. I do not take responsibility for thinking of making a “new name” for myself just from my thoughts alone. (Actually, I don't know if I should or not…) <So please don't flag me or whatever it’s called when you ban someone from something on here…> I was just thinking…
                Normally, I over-think things WAY too much; and that makes me made because I can’t do anything about it. But… when I was thinking about this… I actually went through with it! YEAH! I was in the process of my new YouTube channel (because I already had one and was making a new one) and knew what to do. Now, this may all sound a little cheesy, but I can’t help it… it was just like that. >.<
                I made my YouTube name RoseRosemarie13. And then, from there, I made my actually name Rosemarie Ravenson—I actually took those names from books… (I’m so sorry copyright!) The books/series: Vampire Academy (series), and Vampire Kisses (series). The two main characters of those series with a few alterations.
                So… yeah. I mean, I know it seems so simple and probably stupid (I say that because I think it sounds a little stupid), but there you have it!

Whether you care or not, there it is! Fir those of the night and beyond the grave, I wish you darkness forevermore. Goodnight and Goodbye.
~Rose~

Favorite Goth Pictures:

Wel, I love, love, LOVE pictures. I'm not 100% sure why... but I do! :3 Well... Here are some of my favorite of the pictures that I have "collected" over my time here on this planet...
Well, this first one I adore the most (right at this moment, actually)! It's so fucking adorable! I mean, come on! I actually did a simmalar drawing of this girl the other day, but, it didn't turn out that well. I'm actually thinking about making a character of my own for a comic that's based off of this picture... BUT ANYWAYS...


Okay, so, this one really speaks to me. I mean, I'm not overly religious or anything, but I really adore how this incorperates the cross with all the goodness of Goth (like the bat and the coffin). I do not, under any cercumstances, think that this is "making fun of" religion or anything. It's just really pretty. :)
I'm a really big fan of roses. I guess you could even say that they are my favorite flower. Whatever the case, I really love this picture; not just for the rose, but for the words underneath it. It gives off a sense of pain, love, and hope (or, at least, that's what I got out of it). The fact that it's a black rose just makes it epic.

This is the picture that adorns the top of this blog; and I absolutely love this picture. I incorperates my two favorite things: reading and roses. Of course, I mainly love it for it's dark way of showing love in books, but I also think that it... Well, it can just mean something so much deeper than can be simply said in words.


Okay, so, for these two I WANT THAT HAT in the first picture and I WANT THAT STYLE in the second. When I first found the second picture (let's call her "pink"), I thought "Oh my God...! That's so beautiful! GIMME!!! Dx" haha. But, aside from acting creeperish there, pink really inspired me to move forward! :) And, with the second picture (let's call her "hat"), when I found it, I thought, "OHHHH! MYYY! GOSH! :D THAT WOULD SO GO WITH MY DRESS!" (you see, I have this dress... But that story is for another time...) That hat is soooooo adorable....! *sighs* yeah...............

So, the first and second picture here kind of go together in my mind--really, ONLY because of the hearts (a heart is my favorite shape :) <3 ).  I thought that the guy holding the heart was very meaningful and said, to me, "I give you my heart." Which totally chokes me up cause I totally fall for that cheesy shit >.< And, with the second one, I thought it said, to me, "Love binds us." I mean, this picture can be taken both good and bad ways, but, whenever dealing with "love" related photos, I always look for the good in them. :)

I WANT THIS. Is that so much to ask? >.< hahaha <3


And, last but not least, tis one :3 I just now realized that I had this picture not long ago and just realized how cute it was! OMG, I mean... LOOK AT IT! It just makes me wanna go "aww...!" haha, Well... yeah. I can fell the love! >.<

So, that was that. Hope whoever's reading all this enjoys! Oh, yeah... and....

I want this as a tatoo. Just sayin... >_>
:)











Ravenson out~

Monster High and the Goth-Girl Inside

You know, I sit here and wonder (right now because it just popped into my head)… why is being “Goth” such a big deal? I mean, if you consider yourself a “Goth” and are reading this right now, you can’t just lay or sit there and tell me that you haven’t ever thought of it. Why is it such a big deal? I ponder this because I deal with a Dad that looks me in the eyes and tells me that this “Goth thing” isn’t me. I disagree. I love this lifestyle and everything that is apart of its culture. Though, there is still discrimination about who I am by some of my family. I have to give credit, though, to my mother and all of my best friends. My mom is… alright with me being whoever I want (well, I’m pretty sure that she’s okay with it). And my friends… man, I have to thank or worship whatever God gave them to me because I don't think I would be here right now if I didn’t have those freaks.
Anyways, what is it that the term “Goth” throws off people? I know from experience that whenever someone hears that word—that isn’t one—thinks that a “Goth” is bad. The reason I put this into quotation marks is that “Goth” can be defined in numerous ways. The way I’ve heard it the most in my research is that it is a lifestyle; a way that you live your life—not just a way you dress or a “phase” you’re going through. Though, it CAN be defined as a phase, a way of dress, and a manner of style. For some, Goth IS a phase. For others, its’ not. For ME it’s not. I am a Goth—or what I consider one—and I’m just so… confused and frustrated. If it’s not bad… then, WHY the discrimination. It pisses me off. Though, I suppose now-a-days it’s hard to tell what’s true from what’s false. I still wonder…
Well, the other day, I learned of this thing that may or may not be considered “Goth” and I am squealing at it! >_<

This is Monster High. I think it’s for kids, but I can’t help but adore it! So far, I have watched all of the cartoon episodes on its website, www.monsterhigh.com, and played most of the games. I also have an account on there. >_< I know, it’s very childish of me, but I can’t help it! It’s just so creative and awesome! Okay, so the main characters are Frankie Stein, Draculaura, and Clawdeine Wolf. The names are also SO creative! Some, like my friend who thinks the names are ridiculous, may think that the character names are, indeed, ridiculous, but I LOVE them! There are also BOOKS, by Lisi Harrison, that aren’t really a part of the Monster High cartoons, but are really awesome books. The very first main character is Frankie Stein—the daughter of Franken Stein (at least that’s what I got out of it). I haven’t read the entire book yet, but it’s amazing. *sighs* I think this will be my new thing…

Well, as I ponder and daydream, I will leave you all with this note:
                For all those Goths out there, the gothic lifestyle is apart of life. The gothic subculture is extra-ordinary and beautiful: or what I’ve seen of it. It’s mainly about three things: the clothing, the music, and the lifestyle. (I’m not 100% on that last part, sorry) If you want to experience that beauty, it’s your job to research and live it how you want it. But don't force yourself; being what is defined as “Goth” isn’t something you choose on a whim. It takes time and effort. And just be you. J
And as for me…
                                                                                Ravenson out.

Running

As I sit, I think of you.
All these thoughts.
Racing... Running...
That makes me think of you, too:
Running.
What's with this?
I hate it
but then...
I love it.
Knowing...
Then I keep thinking... of you.
Why?
Isn't the reason obvious?
I know everything. I know you.
I understand more than my sanity cares to let out.
I don't want you always in my thoughts.
But then that would be a lie.
I want to be with you. I need you.
I need to be with you, too... Always...
Racing...
Running...